A quarter century of insight…

…in less than 500 words.

Here are some things I think…after 25 years on this rock we call earth…

1. I blaime Microsoft for our inabiility two spell things correctlee. Freakin’ spell check. I recently walked into a Wal-Mart…the biggest retailer EVER…and saw a sign for Blimpie “Sangwishes”. Wow.

2. To this day, I will say I enjoy watching high school sports more than college and professional, because there is no motivation by money…just the motivation to win. Except for the Tampa Bay Rays. That I can watch.

3. I hate billboards. They are pointless, and a distraction to drivers, and half of them that you see are advertising that they can advertise for you…bit of an oxy moron don’t you think? If something is advertising that it can advertise for you…its obviously not that effective a method of advertisement don’t you think?

4. I wonder what it is that mystifies consumers about the “credit card swipper”. Seriously, how hard is it to look at a picture and put the card in the right way…why do they always have the befuddled look on their face like “Holy shit, I have never seen one of these, what do I do?”

5. I think that anyone who “TyPeZ LiKe ThIs oN tHeIr MySpAcE or FaCeBoOk oR BloG” should not be allowed to use the Internet. Seriously…do you know how much effort that takes…and how annoying it is to read?

6. I KNOW that nothing makes me happier than seeing those close to me happy…and there has been a lot of that lately…which leads me to wonder…when will I find happiness, that in turn makes me happier, because I consider me close to me, so mebeing happy would in my best estimations make me the happiest? Make any sense at all?

7. Dear Parker Brothers, I am not for the new Monopoly game that puts your money on faux “debit cards” rather than using the pastel colored tender we have all grown to love. If you can’t stash a few extra hundred now and then as the banker, they I want no parts. Anyone seen “Life” laying around? Even if that stupid spinner doesn’t work, at least you can still steal money.

8. There is no use washing your car in Florida.

9. Everyone deserves a their voice to be heard…and a second chance. Lord knows I’ve had my share…BUT…when the privilege is abused, you loose your rights to a 17thchance. That said…thanks for waisting six months of my time with empty promises.

10. Which leads me to my last piece of insight I’ve gathered…sometimes, you need to take a blind leap of faith in order for things to fall in place the right way for you. Hopefully, someone is there on the other end to catch you if you fall. Some people I know are too afraid for this while some people I hold dear have seen success from is…as for my blind leap…the chapter is still unwritten…but once I find out if I fell, or was caught…I am sure you will know.

And…cut. Ok, so cut was the 501st, pretty accurate huh? Anyway…thanks for everyone that has played a part in making me who I am over the last 25 years. It has been a great ride…and now, I sit, at the beginning of my trek to the half century mark…excited as hell, and loaded with tons of lessons learned…

May the next 25 be just as interesting as the first.

 

Thanks. To all.

Good people do exist.

I read this on CNNSI.com this morning…felt it was worthy of sharing….

A homeless man who goes by Doc was cashing in change at a Cinemark Theatre in Dallas when a guy walked up and offered to pay his way into the movie. He planned to spend his day passing out fliers and accepted a rain check before realizing that he recognized the generous gentleman. Was that Tony Romo?” Doc asked the worker behind the counter. It sure was. Doc, who requested that his real name not be used, hustled across the street to the consignment store that paid him to occasionally pass out fliers and requested the day off. By the time he got back to the theater, Role Model had already started. Romo, who confirmed the story but didn’t want to elaborate, waved Doc over to sit by him and his friend. Doc sheepishly mentioned that he hadn’t showered in a few days. “Don’t worry about that,” Romo said. “I’m used to locker rooms.” And so the $67 million quarterback and a man who doesn’t have $6.70 to his name sat next to each other and shared laughs for 90 minutes or so.

HH.

Happy Halloween.

It is building…

My unique perspective on billboards and credit card swippers…will be here really soon.

I know, you can’t hardly wait huh?

Sex sells.

Have any of you seen the new Wendy’s dollar menu commercial?

It shows those beautiful square patties of beef that are never frozen and supposed to be the most delightful things in the world…which…is true.

Wendy’s does have an amazing dollar menu. Best in the industry.

Bar none.

But the marketing…has become just a lil tooo racey for my taste…and I think that Dave Thomas is turning in his grave right now.

Allow me to explain.

Wendy’s was founded in 1969 by Dave Thomas, who died tragically in 2002. The restaurant chain was named after his fourth child Melinda Lou Thomas, who was called Wendy by her older siblings.

You probably know Wendy as the cartooned, pigtailed red head on all of the drink cups, fry holders and foil hamburger wrappers.

Innocent enough right? Ever notice that when Dave Thomas was alive…Wendy was a still image in the commercials?

NOW…when you see the commercials, it is of Wendy holding out a dollar and winking playfully at the camera…am I the only one that see’s an issue with this?

Sounds more than a bit whorish to me…I mean seriously…pigtails…red hair…winking…and a dollar…screams cheap prostitute to me.

Or maybe I am just a sick bastard with too much time on my hands?

Or conversly…maybe Wendy’s is subliminally marketing their beef through sleezy sex driven campaigns.

Something to chew on, no?

Big savings.

Funnnny!

Waiting.

For the right moment to write something inspirational.

I’m shooting for tomorrow.

Will that satisfy the masses??

I chuckled to myself.

Am I the only one that finds myself with a sly grin coming across my face everytime Jim Cantore says “Hurricane Ike set to HIT Cuba”?

I mean come on…it’s more than a lil funny right?

I think the only way it would be funnier…would be if the island of Cuba was actually named “Tina”

Not that I find spousal abuse funny…because I do not. Nor do I condone any sort of domestic violence…but come on…you KNOW those weather guys that keep saying that Ike is “set to hit” whatever major country or state is in its path…those sick bastards and giggling their asses off.

Why can’t they say “make landfall” like everyone else.

“Hurricane Ike, set to make landfall with the island of Tina in the next 24 hours”

HAHA!

Freakin A.

Will the day EVER come that I DONT get a call from work on my DAY OFF???

Tootsie Rolls.

This may seem like a rather silly post to write about…but I was walking through Grand Reserve before I moved…and I was say…90 paces behind an old woman who was letting her poodle (which is my least favorite animal EVER) take a nice big number 2 in the commons area.

On the way back from my trek to the mail box I walked past the area where the dookie-ing took place…hoping to find that this haggard old lady was a good person and picked the mess up…which NO ONE ever does…because lets face it…its freaking gross!

Anyway…I was elated to se when I walked past that old mother hubbard did indeed remove her doggies droppings…and replace it with a Tootsie Roll?

And then it hit me…

Has anyone else out there come to the keen observation that the larger Tootsie Rolls that come with the white cardboard around them look alarming like poodle dookie?

Anyone else see where I am coming from with this??

I can’t be the only one right??!!??!!??